“What? What the hell do you want?”.I shouted at the door in my usual brisk manner. Someone had awoken me by banging rythmically on it. The noise reminded me of some particularly annoying MC Hammer rythym so I felt that I had to get up to find out what all the fuss was about. It was still dark outside and I had just switched on the hall light so that I could find the keys to open to door and see who was knocking. I hadn’t bothered to look at my watch to see what the time was.

There was a man standing on the other side of the door. In the pale 40 watt glow of my hallway light, I noticed that he was wearing a cheap suit. I know nothing about suits, so it puzzled me that I knew it was cheap. Still, it was apparently morning and I’m generally like that early on in the day. I know things that I shouldn’t. Generally, I dont think about it too much.

“What do you want?”, I asked the stranger. I decided that this was the time when it became appropriate to look at my watch in a startled manner. I glanced at my watch. Startled, I realised that it was 3 am. “It’s 3am”, I said.

“Would you like to purchase a subscription to our newly opened sports and fitness facility just down the road?”. He gestured at some point that, I assumed, was down the road some distance. I didnt much care to look.

“Its only £20 a month, and for you, I’ll throw in a £5 discount, as well as this free Bros CD. Its called ‘Push’ and I think you might like it”. I stared at the man for a while.

“No, no thanks. Really, this whole thing is a little strange. I dont like fitness, exercise or anything involving movement in general and I feel that your offering of a free Bros CD doesn’t do much to persuade me otherwise”.

“Are you sure?”, he said, “Its a very good album”.

“Have you ever actually listened to it?”, I queried.

“No. No I’ve not.”. He seemed defeated by this and sighed, rather sadly I thought, since he had quite a persuading manner and I’m sure I would have bought the subscription had it not been for the offer of the Bros CD. He turned and walked away. I went back to bed.