We all love Ikea, Swedish branded furniture with names made from compressed glee. It pleases us when we succeed in piecing together a wardrobe which, if it was in the form of a simple jigsaw, wouldn’t tax a three year old. We are simple people, with simple tastes. As long as it goes well with the coffee table.

I need some new furniture, all my old stuff is falling to pieces. And it looks too old, that’s the thing. I want modern stuff, with a modern twist. I want lampshades that scream “look at me”. I want a television slash DVD stand which will announce to my visitors the fact that I am one stylish dude. I want it all. And I want it now.